Planet Earth has seen a lot of darkness. There is nowhere this darkness is more powerfully concentrated than around sex and sexuality. In a word, the nature of this planetary darkness has been control—control over others. We have even come to define power as having control over others, rather than the more wondrous definition of power as enabling others to live into their full potential (power with).
Sexuality has been at the heart of the control paradigm. It is the chief way women have been kept from coming into their full power, for one. But why has so much darkness focused on sexuality? It is because sex and sexual energy are the most powerful rejuvenating force that we have been given by the Creator. (And I am referring to all intimate touch here.) Contrary to what we have been taught in this culture of the mind (which has despised the body), true pleasure of the body and spirit is a sign that we are on the right track with our behavior. Our bodies and emotions are the perfect radar system for how closely we are aligned with our divine purpose, and the divine Source.
Sex is the most accessible activity available to us that allows a complete union of our own spirits and bodies (metaphorically, sky and earth). Not only does this happen within ourselves–especially in the moment of orgasm–but it gives us the opportunity to experience complete union of spirit and body with another being. This is magical, because when we experience this union, we are reminded that we are actually one with all life. We touch the divine Source, of which we are part. We have largely forgotten this truth on Earth. The greatest lie perpetuated on this planet is that we are separate—from each other, from the Earth, and from God. In truth we are all part of one great whole. We are the body of God, and God’s spirit moves within us as well as without.
Sex has the potential to shatter this lie of separation. Somehow we have gotten almost entirely immersed in the belief that sex is bad, dangerous, to be contained at all costs, and to be minimized. Marriage has been one way to try to contain it; social censure another. We are scared of sex, which is to say we are scared of our own power and divinity. If we claim our sexuality fully, we claim our power, in that we allow divine energy to flow in and out of us freely. (And that is true power.)
From the perspective of energy healing, I believe that the Creator gave sex to us as a primary means of keeping us healthy, and our energy flowing optimally. A good metaphor is how we recharge our cell phones regularly. This is the true function of sexual energy: to recharge our entire energetic system. If we were able to freely give and receive sexual energy, and did so regularly, I believe that our bodies would not age in the way they currently do. Our bodies have a built-in healing system, and if we “funded” it with enough energy, our bodies would be much more capable of routine self-mending than they currently are. Of course, we need other societal systems to back up and support the healthy flow of energy in our systems, but sex is the key to recharging—to bringing the new energy we need into our systems.
The reason sex is fraught with so many emotional and social perils is because darkness concentrates in our pelvic region, and sex can be a means of passing “dark” energy from one person to another (including STDs). So part of restoring sex to its proper role in society must include healing work in the body to remove all the energy that blocks and perverts the flow of sexual energy—which is what subverts sexual energy into repression or compulsion.
Some of us, including myself, have slightly misunderstood the chakra centers, related to this issue. Chakras are actually for communication and exchange of energy with others, a horizontal movement of energy. They are like flowers, opening and closing according to what is needed. Chakras are also nodes that make it easier to heal in specific areas (bringing healing energy in). They are not, however, set up for basic/daily energy maintenance and refueling, which is a vertical movement/rise through the body. Sex is not the only way to recharge, but it is the most accessible.
In a healthy culture, how does sex function? Sex needs to be completely delinked from all trace of possessiveness (as should relationships in general). Sex should always be an act of giving, chosen by the giver, and given freely and openly. Sex should never be an act of taking, or attempting to control or bind someone else, body or spirit.
Sex should always be founded upon the knowledge that we are all interconnected. Energy is always flowing between us; we are not in fact separate from each other. Therefore what meets the needs of one person ultimately serves the good of all.
What this means is that sex needs to be freed up from almost every thought our culture has about it:
(1) There is no such thing as casual sex. All sex is sacred since through it, spirit touches spirit, and both open to the divine Spirit/Source.
(2) Sex should not be taken as personally as we do. It should be understood more properly as basic maintenance of body and spirit.
(3) Celibacy is something to be undertaken with great awareness and should probably be time-limited. Historically it has functioned as a denial of the sacredness of the body, and a refusal to participate in the great interconnected web of energy that unites all of us. Celibacy has often risen from the tragically mistaken belief that the mind and spirit are the only path to God, and that the body is merely an impediment. In truth, our bodies are sacred, in that they are imbued with spirit (as is all matter).
(4) Sex is too important and too sacred to be constrained by social institutions such as marriage. There is a place for committed relationship and marriage, but those needs should be considered somewhat separately from sex. Sex is more sacred and more essential than social contracts, which will shift throughout life.
(5) Sex needs to be delinked from the terror of unwanted pregnancy. We need to make birth control more available, and make adoption a much easier and more expected outcome of unwanted pregnancy. We need to pay far better attention to making sure the needs of all children and all primary caretakers are met.
(6) We need to support our teenagers’ desire and curiosity about sex. As it is, we disapprove and look the other way, when in fact, teens need training and loving support in learning how to handle sexuality.
I do not have all the answers to shifting society from an unhealthy to a healthy relationship with sexuality. But getting the foundation in place is a good first step. Other solutions, strategies, and intermediate steps will rise as we travel the ever-unfolding path of cultural evolution.
For other entries related to sexuality, see Sexuality and the Awakening of Will, Attraction and Release, Flexible Relationships, Divorce